Wednesday, 10 February 2016

5 years ago today I moved to Bali.... 5 lifetimes have passed. A reflection by ME.

5 is my favourite number and today is 5 years since I moved to Bali from Australia with 2 suitcases (my worldly possessions) and no plan and no idea.  Many thought I was losing my mind.  Many thought I was the most courageous woman in the world.  I thought, none of this makes sense; I must do it no matter what.

My dearest Denise drove me to the airport.... blessed to have her take me to the plane where eventually I would find my wings.


I had said goodbye to my children for what I thought was going to be 9 weeks, 1 term of school and then they would join me after I found a house and sorted school enrolment and such. The universe and their father had other ideas.... Little did I know this was very much the divine plan. It unfolded this way exactly as it was suppose to. I learnt what a shattered heart felt like. I learnt deep confused acceptance. I learnt loving no matter what. I learnt to show up every single time. I learnt how to communicate with my children from afar. I learnt how they quickly knew how to communicate with my soul. I learnt that patience was indeed a virtue.


In a very short time my destiny was taking me to a place I never knew existed. I was way out of the mainstream and deep in the village. I was in a complete different world. I surrendered in there, I met all my fears and I finally understood what it was to trust myself. I allowed it all to take me no matter how ugly or painful it got. I kept showing up. I accessed things within me that lead me to where I am today.


Being in the Hindu world was very natural for my human. My mind found it confusing. My soul was finally aligned with my entire being. I became a Hindu at the 3 year mark. Then things supernova-ed and peace became very common within. I embodied Goddess Durga in a cave with a Swami, karma started burning at a rate of exponential giddiness.... Showing up was all I knew to do.


I did as I was told and sat at the feet of gurus, I learnt humility there. I very quickly went from Master to Mangku to Jero (priestess). I devoured my journey, the learnings and I worked weeks without sleep. I was taken through initiation and ceremony by High Priestess each time she deemed me ready. I never planned this, I just showed up. I then ended up at the World Hindu Summit. Apparently I had a special journey to share amongst revered holy men and women, this day was rather overwhelming. I kept showing up.


Then apparently I needed a divine little child to join us on this journey. That was most unexpected. I showed up for that gift and some.


Eventually all my Starry babes would come and live in Bali and that was quite the change. I met this with love and wonder and it gifts me everyday in every way.  

The path of the Divine Mother Priestess.
I never saw that one coming.


I claimed all that this journey has offered me, albeit the hardest offerings ever in this lifetime. And now I live with deep peace in my heart. I do divine work that simply is daily life. I share myself with those called and I honour every single moment. My life is a ceremony. ALL OF IT.


It is with the deepest gratitude that I sit with everyday that brings me to meet it all. Showing up is my mantra. My humility is my fuel and my children are my contracts I'm in constant daily evolution with. Thank all the gods and goddesses I headed the call to get on that flight 5 years ago today. 
I was the one I was waiting for.


I can't even imagine where I will be in 5 years time...... It's none of my business. I'll just keep showing up everyday and see what unfolds.

All my love and blessings to all who share my journey, DEEP BOW.

~Durgaji Ibu Jero Putu Widiani Nicole Phoenix Starr.......... or Nik .....xoxoxo



  1. Love you always, dearest brave friend ��

  2. You are an absolute inspiration to me every day, Nik. I am loving your writing. I hang off every word & can't get enough of it. So excited & very grateful to have you in my heart & be able to follow the next five years. Love you. Deep bow. <3 xo