Tuesday, 11 July 2017

And then the Bali chapter closed.....

I'm not even sure where to begin writing this.  I'm sitting here in a Queensland winter by the beach; in fact I sat here 6 and a half years ago on my last day before I moved to Bali.  I'm literally 20 meters from where I was sitting saying goodbye.  Sitting here realizing this writing this.  This is the cycle of a most profound journey and another unfolding effortlessly in front of me.  

Let's step back 7 years.  To the first call, my friends ask me to accompany them to Bali for a research trip.  I had never aspired to go to Bali, ever.  Yet unbeknownst to me, back then she was calling.   I landed and felt a deep resonance, much to my surprise.  After spending time wandering around her, I found myself saying; "I'm moving to Bali", I didn't think that was possible, yet the universe had some serious plans for me and cleared the way to make that possible and within 3 short months I was indeed moving to Bali.  Totally blowing my mind and freaking me out, yet I felt compelled beyond anything I had experienced to go. 

First trip.... things felt normal to me for the first time pretty much ever.

In less than a month I had been taken to scared ceremony and immersed in the Hindu and local culture.  This was never on my mind, how could it be, I never knew anything about it, (not until I remembered).  I had no idea why I was moving to Bali, I thought I would blend into expat life, my children would go to Green School and maybe I would take up yoga.  No, this was not the divine plan at all.  Not one bit.  Nothing like that.  I was in for a ride I could never imagine, not in my wildest dreams.   I was to embark on a spiritual journey that would not only blow my mind but every single thing I had ever thought.  And more.

For the first time in my life I felt safe, accepted and clear.  It was a most odd experience.  I showed up to every single ceremony and practise, without ever considering not.  I found a new way of contemplating life and all that was happening to me which appeared like a living hell in my mind, was indeed my world showing me the way.

People started to enquire after my doings and beings.  I had to reframe everything and the unfolding occurred and the request for 'showing my experiences' evolved into group spiritual journeying.  Much to my surprise I became a guide for others and a new me was awakening.

I could write a trillion words of what happened over those middle years of this last 7 year cycle.  And I have in fact written some which is in a little book in the editing stage and a memoir will come at some stage.

I have had hundreds of people journey with me and since I took my teachings online, there are now thousands who have experienced the work.

The stories of what occurred over the years are mind blowing, yet they were my experience.   I tell these events and watch peoples jaw drop and the Wow's follow.  Sitting at the feet of Gurus, activating volcanos, shapeshifting in caves and endless extraordinary things happened.

I learnt more in this time than I ever anticipated in this lifetime.  I learnt how to navigate life beyond dimensions and how to be in this realm.  I said, YES and the entire universe conspired to meet me there.

And so it began, again much to my surprise I was in a massive process.  It lead to me becoming a Hindu and then going through the process of Master, Mangku, Jero (priestess) and High Priestess. 

Hindu Ceremony and Hindu name.  Putu Widiani... A homecoming.

I had embodied Goddess Durga in a cave with a tantric swami and this whole new world opened up.  Then a billion other things happened and then for my 40th birthday I got a most surprising gift.  Hello LeoAnanda Ganesh Starr.  The divine mothering path as Durgaji.   

We hang out with the High Priestess.

The orginial plan seemed ready for ripening a few years later and the big kids came to live our not so much expat life.

As my work and my teachings got more refined and more potent, my practise of divine mothering got a huge workout.
Chop Wood, Carry Water.

So many endings were presenting themselves.  "Much to my surprise", 'seems the constant theme'.  The mind is always up for surprising things.  I was being called to other lands.  Strongly.  I started the search across the planet and the whisperings became very loud.  My beautiful daughter graduated high school valedictorian of Bali Island School and our exit plan was well underway.

The last big journey where 11 courageous souls joined for a karmic contract was beyond anything any of us anticipated.  Including me.  The final NikStarr Bali Retreat was a sacred container of my time in a journey.  Guiding this group as I was saying goodbye simultaneously was so much more than words can convey.  An absolute honour and a graduation of sorts of self.  As just days after, I went through High Priestess and a huge completion and embodiment occurred.  My preparation to leave Bali was complete and I was free to go.  It felt like a natural evolution.  I was not sad to leave my beloved island at all.  Contrary, super excited to continue into the next chapter.  The last few days were incredibly beautiful.  Beyond anything I could have wished for.

We boarded our plane and as I turned my phone off, it was 11:11pm, I smiled.   And onwards we went, up up up into our visit to Australia.  Having 2 events to say farewell to my beloved students and anyone else who wants to play.  To celebrate Ruby's 18th birthday and spend time with my parents.  And then we will be off, to the other side of the planet, literally and into our new life.

Beloved Bali, I had no idea what you had in store for me.  I'm so glad I answered your call.  I will be back to visit as promised.  The unimaginable unfolded and you taught me all about surrender, humility and embracing divine plans.  And so onwards we go.  You are embedded into our hearts and part of our souls, we will share your wisdom and wonder wherever we go.  

North America we will see you soon and embrace your big plans with a knowing and beyond.

Grace and gratitude, 

Durgaji Ibu Jero Putu Widiani Nicole Phoenix Starr.



  1. 'I said YES and the whole universe conspired to meet me there.' Nik Starr

    Nik Starr ... I bow ... yes bow ... with respect and reverence to you and the divine in you xx

    I have so much love and gratitude, I often can not find the words ... but they are in my heart and in every breath.
    And big big love to your beautiful family and your new adventures.

    You've anchored in the bottom half of the world ... you may blow the lid off the top half !!
    Hold onto your hats !! xxxxx

    Love always ... now, before and forever...
    Rachel xx

  2. To think that only 3 months ago I had only heard of you through my sister. I had no pull or interest in visiting Bali, but I did have an extreme pull to transform!
    With my desire to connect with GODDESS within and soul, I was gently led to join your retreat.
    It's now after that incredible journey that I reflect how many of my desires were delivered that week and continue to be.
    I am only realising now that I also just kinda turned up there, received, showed up again and again with no real idea what was happening within or without haha!

    Nik, it's starting to drop in on me now, slowly. The depth, the honour and support of those I spent the week with, the immensity of your journey and how journeying with you is rippling through my soul right now!
    The incredible women who I have so desperately missed even though I had not met even one of them before this trip!
    I'm still processing, and words do fail me to explain, but I know you can feel my heart.
    I am so so so grateful to my dear sister for connecting me to you! Thank you Jen!
    I joyfully look forward to more!
    I love you! Thank you!
    I universe you! X��x

    1. And what a joy it's been to journey with you lovely. Much love to Jen.