Thursday, 13 October 2011

Today the earth shook really hard in Bali.

An Earthquake in Bali.

I feel weird right now, I woke up feeling weird, I had weird dreams last night and then there was an earthquake, 6.9 on the Richter scale with little to no damage.  I feel incredibly blessed that the outcome was minimal structural damage around the island and no fatalities.  But what a freakin shakeup.

I have been going through this process, pretty much ever since I got over my overwhelm which popped up in me moving to Bali.  The process of eliminating fear from my life.  I used to fear so many things before that, losing my children, losing my brain, failing in my businesses, not having a relationship, all sorts of things that over time, completely dissipated. 

I understood that fear served absolutely no purpose in my life, on reading Conversations with God vol 3, by Neale Donald Walsch, I gained the insight that life was infinite, that this current life was just merely one of potentially, thousands or millions or whatever, that as souls we journey through dimensions, lifetimes, moments and that fear was created out of living in the past or the future.
So what if I died, I became an expanded mass of atoms that could be anywhere at any time in the universe, sounds good to me, what if I failed at something, obviously a life lesson, what if I was sick or hurt or something happened to my children, once again I have come to a very very comfortable space where I totally get that that is my life path and I have the skills and tools to deal with it.

No fear here, the only fear I had was with snakes, so in April I went and held a very large snake and threw myself in passionately to overcome that, which of course was incredible.
Then today at around noon,  I was in my bedroom on the phone and was very confused, my bed starting moving towards me and my glass doors were shaking uncontrollably and it became very apparent what was happening, the earth was shaking, I had a workman and my cleaner screaming at me to get out of the house as I ran down the stairs pieces of wood were falling off the wall and we all huddled in the street and held each other really tight, the dogs were barking crazily  and I was really scared.  I haven’t felt scared like that in a long long time.  It lasted for about 3 minutes and then stopped.  I was rather shaken, we all were.
After it was apparent that the earthquake had stopped I went back into my room and sat with myself and assessed the feelings within me.  This brand new experience which I had no frame of reference to; made me feel some level of fear.  I instantly gave gratitude that we were fortunate enough to be only shaken and that no real damage was done, no one was hurt considering the intensity of what had happened.  I sat and thought, fuck I think that I was fearful of something, still unsure of what, the unknown I guess, I don’t know, I’m still really confused by it.  I then found myself crying at the reflection of the feelings within.  I think the energy of mother earth shaking was what bothered me the most, it felt not right, and not in harmony and not aligned with the vibration at which I am used to living at.  Again, I don’t completely understand my reaction or my thoughts, all I know is that it has shaken my core deeper than my core has felt for a very long time.  For this I will reflect and process.

Then around 4pm another one came but was about half the intensity, I was at a friends house and was like whoa…. This is all a bit much, then it stopped after around 1 minute.  Again running into the street and sharing expressions of disbelief among those in my view.
I am incredibly grateful that Bali has not been hurt by todays events.  I am incredibly grateful for this new exposure within that I had no idea was there.

The earth moving is not a something that I am familiar with nor something that resonates with me, it has ignited a new awareness that I look forward to indulging into and seeing the outcome that ensues. 

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